That may be all, folks...

It seems that my passion for ridiculous bloggery has subsided. I had a lot of hits, and even had a couple of posts go semi-viral. Never really inspired a lot of commentary and interchange between readers.

I may be back, but will more likely be catching on to the next big thing, just as it too becomes passe'.

Thanks for indulging me.

I always kinda suspected, ya know?

Another issue I'm struggling with.

I'll eventually get inspired again.

Cruel Joke of The Day

I ordered a pack of these magnetic prank bumper stickers from eBay and have had loads of fun sending my friends off in all different directions completely oblivious to why everyone was giving them odd looks on the road.



Unfortunately, sometimes the hunter gets captured by the prey, as I realized when I came out of Hoover City Hall and realized I'd driven there with an "I(heart)AN&L" sticker on my front quarter panel.

It's like getting shot with your own gun.

Lowering the bar...

Due to a profound lack of inspiration, imagination, and originality, I'm reduced to posting funny newspaper clippings.

I'm now the Jay Leno of bloggery.

I think chick was askin' for it...

Size Matters!!

My friend Alyson's comment: "It's twoo, it's twoo!!"

(disclaimer: This is not a political blog)

Inspecting The Troops Is More Fun When You're Royalty

"The Last Great American Roadhouse"

Here are some crappy photos I took at the FloraBama. Included are a blurry outside shot, my friend with what I can only assume was an off-duty stripper, and a fantastic Mullet.

The Flora-Bama Lounge and Package (aka The Flora-Bama), located on Perdido Key Florida, is a beachside oyster bar, beach bar, and Gulf Coast cultural landmark, touted as being America's "Last Great Roadhouse". The Flora-Bama takes its name from its location on the Florida - Alabama border line. The bar is in fact located all within Florida, with the Alabama line being about six feet from the western outside wall. Contrary to what some might describe it as, it is not a nightclub. It is a beach bar.

Widely known as a place where "you can have a millionaire sitting next to a biker," this unique make-up of bar patrons is one of the contributing factors to its large appeal and attraction. Locals mingle with tourists rather easily and on large holiday weekends such as Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day, cars line the highway for miles in both directions as the bar draws such a large crowd. The Flora-Bama first gained national attention when former Oakland Raiders quarterback and NFL MVP Kenny Stabler referred to the Flora-Bama as "the best watering hole in the country
Despite being closed for many months while repairing and rebuilding after Hurricane Ivan, the Flora-Bama's crowd swarmed right back to the bar as soon as it reopened its doors. There is live music to be had every day of the week, with usually at least five bands playing on Saturdays. It is still a spot likely to attract celebrity visitors, with faces such as Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, Kid Rock, and Kenny Stabler sometimes seen amongst the patrons.

This photo is notable only for the discarded bras hanging above the dancefloor.

Where Was This When I needed It?

Finally, A Practical Gift Idea. A Home Vasectomy kit.

Random yet profound Demotivator

I sometimes tell folks I used to be an "Area Manager" for Wendy's. When they ask: "where?", I tell them "the area around the french fry machine".

This pretty much sums it up.

The Soon-To-Be Viral "Mixed Emotions" Joke

Here's a funny joke circulating on the internet that I hadn't seen before.

A man and his wife were watching a television program on psychology, and the subject being covered was mixed emotions. The wife was fascinated with the subject, but as the program wore on, the husband became more and more frustrated. Finally he had had enough of the banality.


"This program is bullsh*t! There is no way you can be extremely happy and incredibly sad at the same time!"


His wife replied that she thought it definitely was possible.


He replied "I bet you a hundred dollars that you can't possibly say anything that would make me happy and sad at the same time!"


The wife thought a minute and said "You have a bigger penis than any of your friends."

Beaches, Feral Bunnies, "The Dorito King", Fading Photos, and Grown Men Gone Wrong..

T Shirt of the Week: Auburn University

No, I don't own this one, I submit this only as evidence that I can take a joke.

This is pretty clever. Touche' barners!

Another Random Demotivator

Weak stream?

I'm not a basketball fan, but Steve Nash is pretty funny.

What I'm Reading

Awful Library Books

Lost Dogs and Mixed Blessings

My stupid little weiner dog ran off on Thursday, taking our beloved little beagle mix with her. He came back, she didn't.

She's become an escape artist, tunneling to freedom like Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape". I am not particularly interested in mounting a full-scale search, as the last time this happened it cost me $160 to spring them from the pokey. Besides, she needs dog psychiatry as she has "abandonment issues" and irrationally high self-esteem. She punishes us when we leave her alone by tearing up our prized possesions and pissing on the laundry.

Vaya, Tessie.

The suicidal goat photo

I particularly like this photo for some reason.

It was taken by my old friend Paul, the crackpot inventor/semi-exotic livestock breeder.

LateNight

"Twitter went down today. If only there was some short, shallow, self-indulgent way to express my horror."
—Stephen Colbert, sniffing at the year's biggest online fad

"Do you remember Eliot Spitzer, who was governor of New York? He had to stop being the governor of New York because he enjoyed prostitutes. Well, now he's talking about running again for governor in 2010. He also said he's looking forward to spending less time with his family."
—David Letterman, on the possible comeback of the disgraced former New York governor

"I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me."
—David Letterman, in response to the brouhaha following his confession of having had sex with women on his staff