Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Meet The Fanatically Avowed Non-Readers: Part 1

"Psycho Schoolmarm" is the wife of my (marginally) estranged bass player and is also my diabolically obsessed arch-nemesis.
(She is clearly the favorite among my sworn enemies)

She enjoys:
Sarcasm, planning and directing Themed Formals, bass players, travel, square roots and stuff, talking and talking and talking, ridiculously elaborate frou-frou cocktails, providing stream-of-consiousness voice-over narration to televised mid-level Beauty Pageants, "Meet The Press", gaudy disco-era footwear, preparing "chili" with caustic/explosive qualities, thinkin' about Lance Armstrong, collecting suggestive art, avoiding first-rate on-line entertainment, "flame-spamming" my core readership with vitriolic rants, berry picking and griping.

She dislikes:
Being soundly whipped at Trivial Pursuit by her intellectual betters, aging lothario acoustic folksingers, being pressed into bread-slicing duty at gala social events, neo-conservatism and handsome charismatic bloggers.

An interesting note: She'll have quite a dilemma when she objects to this post, as that will require her to admit she's read it.

She'd rather eat nails.

1 comment:

  1. sounds like i would enjoy the company of said psycho-schoolmarm, except for her dislike for aging lothario acoustic folk-singers. now i must look up the word lothario. i think you made it up.

    hey, have you noticed that little feat has been touring again? mike (my husband) went through a little feat phase some months ago & i became aquainted and/or reacquainted with every moment of tape they ever played. we considered going to 1 of their recent gigs, but decided our music travel this year would center around seeing dylan down at orange beach at the end of july.